This analysis is part of Claire Morgan's ongoing work identifying toxic emotional dynamics in modern relationships.

Oksana Baiul Shockingly Loses Custody of Daughter Amid Abuse Allegations – What This Divorce Reveals About Toxic Parenting

Imagine the crushing moment when a mother, once a celebrated Olympic champion, relinquishes custody of her 11-year-old daughter amid swirling abuse allegations. This is not just a headline; it’s a raw emotional fracture that exposes how toxic dynamics can unfold behind closed doors.

Sadly, this kind of painful custody battle is far from unique. Many families find themselves trapped in cycles of blame, helplessness, and intervention that only deepen wounds instead of healing them. The recent developments in Oksana Baiul’s divorce from Carlo Farina, as reported in the original report, offer a striking example of these destructive patterns at play.

Understanding the Drama Triangle: The Hidden Roles in Toxic Conflicts

At the heart of many toxic family conflicts is a psychological pattern known as the Drama Triangle. This model reveals how people in conflict often unconsciously switch between three roles: the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer.

The Persecutor blames and controls, the Victim feels helpless and oppressed, and the Rescuer intervenes, often maintaining the Victim’s helplessness instead of empowering them. This cycle keeps everyone stuck in conflict, unable to move forward.

Dr. Evan Stark, a leading expert on coercive control, explains, "Coercive control is a pattern of behavior designed to dominate, control, and isolate a partner through fear, intimidation, and isolation."

This quote shines a light on how the Persecutor role can escalate into emotional and psychological abuse, especially in intimate relationships. The Drama Triangle isn’t just theoretical—it’s a real trap that many couples fall into during toxic separations and custody battles.

Applying the Drama Triangle to Oksana Baiul’s Divorce

Looking at the custody battle between Baiul and Farina through this lens, we can start to see how these roles might have played out. Reports indicate that Farina was granted sole custody amid abuse allegations. This suggests a possible Persecutor role, where control and intimidation may have influenced the legal outcome.

Meanwhile, Baiul’s decision to give up custody could reflect the Victim role—feeling overwhelmed, powerless, or trapped by the circumstances. The visitation terms, dependent on the daughter’s agreement, may also expose a subtle Rescuer dynamic, where Baiul’s ability to maintain a relationship with her daughter hinges on conditions beyond her control.

As someone who has worked with women in similar situations, this pattern is painfully familiar. Toxic parenting and coercive control often disguise themselves in legal battles, leaving emotional scars that last far beyond the courtroom.

Reflecting on Your Own Relationships

Have you ever found yourself switching between blaming others, feeling helpless, or trying to “save” someone who didn’t want to be saved? These roles might seem natural in moments of conflict, but they can trap you in cycles of pain and misunderstanding.

Take a moment to reflect: Are you caught in a Drama Triangle in your own family or relationship? Are you the one who feels powerless, the one who blames, or the one who constantly tries to fix things? Recognizing these roles is the first step toward breaking free.

If these patterns resonate with you, please know you are not alone. Gaining clarity is the first step toward peace. We invite you to take our free, confidential "FREE Relationship Clarity" assessment to better understand your unique situation.

Moving Forward: Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Parenting

Understanding the Drama Triangle empowers you to step out of these destructive roles. Instead of blaming, feeling helpless, or rescuing, you can learn to set healthy boundaries, communicate clearly, and foster mutual respect.

For parents, especially those navigating custody or divorce, this means prioritizing the child’s emotional well-being over control or conflict. It means recognizing when coercive control is at play and seeking support to dismantle it.