When Accountability Meets Denial: A Public Struggle Unveiled
Imagine the moment someone publicly demands their job back after a serious domestic violence record disappears from official files. The confusion, the anger, the refusal to accept consequences—it’s raw, unsettling, and deeply human.
This scenario reflects a universal pattern where individuals grapple with responsibility, often shifting blame or denying reality to protect their self-image. The recent case of former Knoxville officer John Pickens, who is fighting to regain his position after his domestic violence record was expunged, offers a striking example of this dynamic. According to the original report, Pickens’ insistence on reinstatement despite the serious nature of his past reveals much about how people navigate accountability and denial.
The Drama Triangle: Understanding the Roles We Play
To unravel this, we turn to a powerful psychological framework known as the Drama Triangle. This model, developed by Stephen Karpman, describes how people often switch between three destructive roles during conflicts: the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer.
- The Persecutor blames or attacks others, refusing to accept fault.
- The Victim feels helpless and powerless, often seeking sympathy or escape.
- The Rescuer intervenes to “save” the Victim but unintentionally keeps the cycle alive by enabling avoidance of real solutions.
Dr. Evan Stark, an expert on coercive control, explains,
"Coercive control is a pattern of behavior designed to dominate, control, and isolate a partner through fear, intimidation, and isolation."This highlights how these roles can perpetuate toxic dynamics, especially in relationships marred by abuse.
Applying the Drama Triangle to the Knoxville Case
Looking back at John Pickens’ situation, we can see these roles vividly at play. His demand to be reinstated after his domestic violence record vanished signals a classic Persecutor stance—refusing to accept accountability and instead asserting his entitlement to power and position.
Meanwhile, his public narrative may also cast himself as a Victim, portraying the expungement as unfair or unjust, which shifts sympathy toward him and away from the harmed party. This dual movement between blame and victimhood creates confusion and stalls true resolution.
Those who might step in to defend or mitigate the situation risk becoming Rescuers, unintentionally enabling Pickens to avoid facing the full consequences of his actions. As someone who has worked with women in similar situations, this pattern is painfully familiar.
Reflecting on Your Own Patterns
Have you ever found yourself blaming others to avoid uncomfortable truths? Or perhaps feeling helpless and trapped in a cycle where someone else’s behavior controls your peace of mind? Maybe you’ve tried to “fix” a relationship, only to find the same issues resurfacing.
These are manifestations of the Drama Triangle at work in everyday life. Recognizing when you or those around you are caught in these roles is the first step toward breaking free from toxic cycles.
The Path Forward: Clarity and Healing
If these patterns resonate with you, please know you are not alone. Gaining clarity is the first step toward peace. We invite you to take our free, confidential "FREE Relationship Clarity" assessment to better understand your unique situation.
Understanding the Drama Triangle offers a lens to identify unhealthy dynamics and empowers you to step out of destructive roles. By shifting from blame and helplessness toward accountability and self-awareness, healing becomes possible.
If these patterns resonate with you, please know you are not alone. Gaining clarity is the first step toward peace. We invite you to take our free, confidential "FREE Relationship Clarity" assessment to better understand your unique situation.