When John Pickens demanded his job back after his domestic violence record was erased, the emotional weight was palpable—defiance wrapped in denial.
This moment reflects a far-reaching human pattern: the struggle to reconcile accountability with self-image, often leading to cycles of blame and helplessness. The story, detailed in the original report, offers more than a headline—it reveals the intricate dance of roles people adopt in conflict.
Understanding the Drama Triangle: The Hidden Roles We Play
At the heart of many conflicts lies a psychological model called the Drama Triangle, which explains how people shift between three destructive roles: the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer. Rather than resolving issues, these roles trap individuals in cycles that perpetuate tension and pain.
The Persecutor blames and criticizes, often denying responsibility. The Victim feels helpless and overwhelmed, believing they have no control. The Rescuer intervenes, sometimes enabling the Victim’s helplessness instead of fostering true empowerment.
"Coercive control is a pattern of behavior designed to dominate, control, and isolate a partner through fear, intimidation, and isolation,"
explains Dr. Evan Stark, an expert on abusive dynamics. This insight shines a light on why some individuals may resist accountability—they are caught in a cycle where control and denial feed each other.
Applying the Drama Triangle to John Pickens’ Story
John Pickens’ public demand for reinstatement after his domestic violence record was expunged is a textbook example of shifting Drama Triangle roles. Initially, he may have played the Persecutor in the private conflict, exerting coercive control.
Once the legal consequences faded, Pickens moved into the Victim role in the public eye, portraying himself as wronged or misunderstood, which is a common defense mechanism to avoid facing the deeper issues. His call for reinstatement could also be seen as a plea for a Rescuer—seeking validation and support from the police department or community.
As someone who has worked with women in similar situations, this pattern is painfully familiar. The refusal to fully accept responsibility, coupled with seeking external intervention, keeps the cycle of abuse and denial alive.
Reflecting on Your Own Relationships
Have you ever found yourself blaming others while feeling helpless? Or stepping in to “save” someone, only to realize your help might be enabling their struggles? These are not just isolated moments but part of a larger pattern many people unknowingly repeat.
Recognizing which role you often play can be eye-opening. Are you the Persecutor, Victim, or Rescuer? Or do you cycle through all three? Awareness is the first step toward breaking free from these destructive loops.
The Path Forward: Breaking Free From the Drama Triangle
If these patterns resonate with you, please know you are not alone. Gaining clarity is the first step toward peace. We invite you to take our free, confidential "FREE Relationship Clarity" assessment to better understand your unique situation.
This journey isn’t about blame but about empowerment—learning to step out of the Drama Triangle and into healthier, more authentic ways of relating. Whether you recognize these roles in yourself or in others, change begins when we stop playing parts that keep us stuck.
If these patterns resonate with you, please know you are not alone. Gaining clarity is the first step toward peace. We invite you to take our free, confidential "FREE Relationship Clarity" assessment to better understand your unique situation.